i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
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