I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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