on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
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