they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
How's work?
Spinning.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Congratulations! We have a period
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