He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
I want her autograph on my taint
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
