I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
You're a waste of cheezeits
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Randomize
