I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
