this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Randomize
