I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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