so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
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