Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Randomize
