Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
either way he was missing a nipple.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
