WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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