Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I'm too high and old for this...
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
