Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
