Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
