So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Floor bacon is actually really good
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
