My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
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