North Korea, Best Korea!
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
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