so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
