the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
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