Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
