I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I woke up under a house in Key West
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