Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
