Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
