She is in my trunk
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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