guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
