Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Randomize
