um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Randomize
