Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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