Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
So many bounce houses so little time
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
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