it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
