just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Randomize
