Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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