i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Randomize
