2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
