I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
