Already got asked if we're dating
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
