Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Randomize
