You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
