***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
