i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
