You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Randomize
