you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Randomize
