You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
