Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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