Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
