I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
