Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
