Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
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