May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
The struggles of a small town man whore
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
