My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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