roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Randomize
