end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
